Why — WHY — does this blog exist. Why.

In which I attempt to explain this madness.


REVIEW: Wild Wild West (1999)

The people at Rotten Tomatoes must be HIGH because they only gave this gem of cinematic beauty a SEVENTEEN PERCENT rating. Let's break down all the reasons why they're wrong, and Will Smith, Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh will always — ALWAYS — be right.

REVIEW: The Mummy (2017)

Rotten Tomatoes says it's "lacking in campy fun" and suggests a "speedy unraveling for the Dark Universe." I say, let's all get along and have whatever the fuck Tom Cruise is drinking from the Fountain of Youth.